YspeopleExplore tab

It is a wild ride, this midlife dating caper


About The Midlife Single

Join me as I try to navigate the dating scene as a single, middle-aged woman. 


Exciting and exasperating all at the same time ... never let it be said that dating in middle age is boring.

So, here I am. Rebuilding my life at 47. I'm doing pretty well so far, but have to admit, sometimes I really miss having a long-term partner in crime.

Come join me on this crazy journey into the midlife dating scene.

Come join me on this crazy journey into the midlife dating scene. Picture: iStock

We were together for about 12 years, my ex and I. And while I've gotten over him, I'm not ashamed to admit that I miss that sense of closeness with a long-term companion.

I'm sure you get my meaning. It's that sense of shared intimacy that most people crave, in the form of: uplifting daily conversations; hugs and forehead kisses when life isn't quite going right; a ready sidekick for a misgotten adventure; building Sunday morning blanket forts; a conversation/joke shared in a single, knowing look across a room; that us-against-the-world vibe; and that most favourite, playing the mythical-beast-with-two-backs game. 

Tonight, in the name of research on your behalf, dear reader, I'll be signing up to Tinder, Plenty of Fish and Bumble (I gave the first two the boot about 12 months ago ... rendered speechless by a veritable tsunami of unsolicited penis photos). Pphhhfffft, what a bunch of knobs! 

I moved instead to eHarmony, where there seems to be a much greater level of respect. But for whatever reason - perhaps because paid subscribers are accountable for their behaviour and investment - things seem to move at a glacial pace, with much less interaction.

New player Bumble has been getting a lot of hype lately for providing a space that does not tolerate poor behaviour, specially any harrassment or abuse (sexually explicit, or otherwise). It claims to do this by giving the woman the power to initiate any and all interactions - while acting quickly to remove repeat offenders of its code of conduct.

For me, Bumble's appeal definitely lies in its potential to be less of a slug-fest (pun intended!). So I'm going to give that a whirl, too!

It's a funny thing, this dating game. It's an interest that ebbs and flows depending on my workload and experiences in my most previous romantic adventure.

This past 10 months has been very much hands off any dating apps or sites. I am subscribed to eHarmony, like I said, but rarely go online. 

I started the year dating a super-sweet, kind and gorgeous fellow, let's call him Mr B. And while we had good fun and he was easy company, there was something major missing, that spark and/or intellectual connection! Try as I might, and I did, it just wasn''t there and the fairest thing to do seemed to end it.

Before that, about six months prior, was Mr G. We spent many hours talking and laughing late at night on the phone. And quite a few watching the sun come up together, nursing sore heads from too much wine. Trust me, the spark - and plenty of heat - were there in the background. But unbeknown to me, so was his girlfriend of three years, whom he'd conveniently forgotten to mention.

Needless to say, Mr G's services were terminated immediately! 

So as I get fired up ready to put myself on at least three more dating platforms tonight, here's some of my personal observations on how to build a profile that grabs attention for the right reasons:

Please do make an effort to describe yourself and the type of person you are looking for. At the very least, this signals your intention to put some effort into the real thing.

Please do include a photo with your profile. To me, a blank space signals a man with something to hide (married father of four?).

Also, please put some thought into the kind of photo you post. I don't find pics of men flipping the bird at the camera very sexy, nor do I fancy playing "Where's Wally"  by guessing who you are in that group shot. Same goes for those photos with your ex cut out, as well as one posing with any exotic captive animal in a developing country (Thailand's drugged tigers and thirsty streetside loris's spring to mind). Oh, and half-naked mirror/bed/bathroom shots aren't very sexy, either!

Above all, be honest about who you are, what you want and, if you have to, let that someone down with respect.

Anyway, these are just my personal thoughts. I'll share more as this journey progresses. But in the meantime, if you have any tips or advice for me, or cautionary/good news tales of your own to share, I'd love to hear about them. You can email me, The Midlife Single, here.

  • hotelnepal is a community for the wise. You can voice your opinion on anything here. Simply sign in to post your poems, reviews, opinions and life stories via your unique member dashboard.
  • Banner 2
    | Your rating
    No ratings yet


    Related stories

    Women cheat on men who don't do house chores: study

    Women are more likely to cheat on men who fail to pull their weight when it comes to household chores, according to a major...

    Work Relationships
    Originally from telegraph.co.uk
    Expand
    8 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Marriage is a con, serving no purpose at all.

    Marriage is a symptom of ugliness

    Relationships and love have astonishing value. But marriage? Pffffft, what a con!

    Relationships Community Social Issues
    Expand
    11 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    By following a few commonsense rules, online dating isn't so scary after all.

    How to stay safe while dating online

     

    Have you found yourself single again in midlife? Thinking about online dating? Read this first.

    Relationships Technology Health
    Expand
    11 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Saying thankyou will brighten two people's day.

    The power of saying thankyou

    There is incredible power in saying thankyou and expecting nothing in return.

    Relationships Community Health
    Expand
    12 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Grandkids say the funniest things.

    The things your grandchildren say

    Children say the darndest things, don't they? Share your funny anecdotes.

    Relationships Community Humour
    Expand
    12 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Children need to know it's OK to bite, kick and scream if grabbed by a stranger.

    Nine life-saving lessons to teach your grandkids

    Here's how to equip your grandchildren with the tools to keep them safe from predators.

    Family Relationships Community Social Issues
    Expand
    12 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    We were like chalk and cheese.

    An overdue apology to my long-dead brother

    The pain following your death on that remote country road runs deep. Here's why I want to sorry.

    Family Relationships Loss
    Expand
    12 months ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    A class divided passport of the 80s.

    My passport is a snapshot of an uglier time

     

    You only have to look at my passport from the 1980s -- which lists me as black and bans me from travelling to South Africa --...

    Social Issues India Politics Australia
    Expand
    About 1 year ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Empty nesters, how did you celebrate winning your freedom back? Picture: Shutterstock.

    Empty nesters, let's hear your stories

    Alright all of you empty nesters, how did you celebrate your new-found freedom? Let's get a conversation started.

    Property Relationships Community
    Expand
    About 1 year ago
    (Love & Relationships)
    Baby Joyce.

    Marriage meltdown not Barnaby’s only failure

    Our Deputy PM's moral protestations about our interest in his love life go directly to the character of the man.

    Relationships Social Issues Politics Australia
    Expand
    About 1 year ago
    (Love & Relationships)

    Message board

    Derek, 8 months ago:
    I am great
    George, 8 months ago:
    What's up Thomas?
    George, 8 months ago:
    Messages are now updated in real time on other browsers.
    Thomas, 8 months ago:
    Hello
    Thomas, 9 months ago:
    Great!
    DJC, 9 months ago:
    Groovy!
    George, 9 months ago:
    Message board active from June 2018

    Have your say!

    Your Great Australians

    Trending stories
    They may be hideous, but geez, some toby jugs are valuable.

    Is your toby jug worth a fortune?

    Did you know that some of...

    (Nostalgia) 8 months ago
    When it comes to great bloggers you can connect with, this list has you covered.

    20 mature bloggers worth following

    Looking for Australian...

    (Entertainment & Culture) Almost 2 years ago

    Ripper dad jokes get a laugh

    Here's my pick of some of...

    (Love & Relationships) Over 2 years ago
    These shelter pups can now wait for new families in style.

    Good news to restore your faith in humanity

    With all the negative news,...

    (Kindness) 11 months ago
    The author believes the merger of many charities would be in the best interests of the needy.

    Why do charities exist?

    Should charities exist for...

    (Kindness) Almost 2 years ago
    Weekly Poll
    Photographic memories
    Hizgg0vzzqvwc9xicknk
    It's 35 years since the Ash Wednesday bushfires in South Australia and Victoria claimed 75 lives and more than 2500 buildings.