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The 12 types of men on online dating sites


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About The Midlife Single

Join me as I try to navigate the dating scene as a single, middle-aged woman. 


New to dating in the digital era? This guide will give you a heads up on the kinds of guys you'll meet online..

You'll encounter a lot of different gentlemen in your quest for love. And while I'm loathe to stereotype, these chaps do seem to pop up on the regular online. 

The ''I'm just here for the sex'' guy is hard to miss.

The ''I'm just here for the sex'' guy is hard to miss. Picture: Shutterstock

While some are sweet, fun and sincere, there are others who will break your heart and a few who are just batshit crazy.

Here's what to watch out for: 

The cougar cub:   Confident, chatty and ready for action, the cougar cub is down for the older ladies.  Some of them will say it's because they are over the drama that comes with younger women, others swear that the sex and conversation are better.  Whether you'd date someone younger or not, these guys are a lot of fun.

The Walter Mitty: This chap lives in a whole freaky fantasy world of his own.  From his job to the car he supposedly drives and even his name, they are all lies. If you're lucky enough to expose this one early, dump and run a mile ... don't look back to ask why! They will then cyber stalk you in a terrifying rage for calling out their lies for just what they are. 

Read more from The Midlife Single: Help! I think I'm being catfished! 

The painful conversationalist: You sense there's a seriously sweet guy under there somewhere, but try as you might, getting him to open up and have a real (and interesting) conversation is akin to watching paint dry. 

The fitness/adventure freak: His profile shots are exhausting ... surfing, mountain climbing, fle at the gym, or suited up on a wakeboard/pushbike. You just know that if you hook up you are going to be fighting over the bathroom mirror. This one doesn't understand the irony in his opening profile line, which reads "Fit, easygoing and friendly ... must be same''.

The 'I'm just here for the sex' guy: I have nothing but respect for these men because thankfully, they are not pretending to be anyone they are not. They are here for the sex, dammit, and their profiles will leave you in little doubt of this fact. Firstly, their profile photos usually feature a lot of naked torso, a six-pack or bulging biceps. Very few feature a face and if they do, you can't see them for the sunglasses. The more aesthetically/genetically challenged among them will often swap out said profile pic for a swoon-worthy quote, something along the lines of:: ''YOLO You Obviously Love Oral". 

The devoted daddy: Sigh! This guy's profile pics are all of his kids. As someone who is childless by choice and is not here to date your kids, this is such a turnoff!! Plus, this is the internet fellas, where pedophiles lurk, WTF are you thinking? 

The bitter and twisted: His profile shots are of himself chugging beers or flipping the bird ominously at the camera. His definition of his ideal lady is just a list of "don't bother if you ...". Or, he just won't make any effort to describe himself at all. He's angry, bitter and thinks the line: "'If you want to know anything, just ask!" is appealing.

The widower: Sigh! 

The ''I'm so rich, look at me'' guy:  Boasts of working for a Fortune 500 company, says he drives a car worth as much as a mortgage and only drinks Cristal Champagne. Pffffft, this one also then claims to only date air hostesses/models, but would you be interested? Can't understand why you'd say no, then complains he only attracts gold diggers. Oh dear!

The married guy:  Usually easy to spot, but the occasional cheater sometimes slips through the net. These men don't usually have a profile pic, since their skullduggerous activities must be kept hidden from their wives/partners/families. Those with photos will generally only you when the missus is away and, if things develop further, he will keep a tight check on how and when is made.

The overseas CEO/doctor/lawyer/humanitarian looking for marriage: Scam alert! 'Nuff said!

The real deal: They are out there. These guys will declare on their profiles that they are into dating and looking for a genuine relationship. Sure, they'll have a bit of baggage but at our age, who doesn't? Once you have earnt their trust and realise you are both on the same page, he will set about sweeping you off your feet. 

  • So what do you think? Have I missed any? Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments box below. And gents, I'd love to hear about the types of women you are encountering online. Why not leave a post via your unique member dashboard!
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