YspeopleExplore tab

 
Stranger

The death of friendship


Thumb 11151047 10152692497767493 4705905766381114775 n

About Thomas

I write because I can type. I can type because I have a keyboard.

I am a new age Australian resident that is experiencing this new continent with a fresh set of eyes. 

I write on a wide range of topics. Well, I write on food. There you have it, I write on a wide range of food as well. 


Thirty percent of Australians are lonely (meaning they are completely alone). I am not surprised.

I am a big fan of history and folklore. I read a lot about it. 

A fascinating friendship.

A fascinating friendship. Picture:

Recently, I committed to reading the Epic of Gilgamesh. It is an Akkadian poem about Gilgamesh's adventures and learnings. For those who don’t know who he is, Gilgamesh is a demigod of superhuman strength who builds the city walls of Uruk to defend his people and, after the death of his friend Enkidu, travels to meet the sage Utnapishtim, who had survived the Great Flood. 

I became fascinated to read of his friendship with Enkidu. Enkidu was formed from clay and saliva by Aruru, the goddess of creation, to rid Gilgamesh of his arrogance. At the end of their battle, they become friends. He then becomes the king's constant companion and beloved friend, accompanying him on adventures until he is stricken with illness and dies. The deep, tragic loss of Enkidu profoundly inspires in Gilgamesh a quest to escape death by obtaining godly immortality.

Here is a small part of his deep agony and lamentation for his friend:

Shouldn’t my cheeks be hollow, shouldn’t my face be ravaged,

frost-chilled, and burnt by the desert sun? Shouldn’t my heart be filled with grief?

Shouldn’t I be worn out and ready to collapse? My friend, my brother, whom I loved so dearly,

who accompanied me through every danger – Enkidu, my brother, whom I loved so dearly,

who accompanied me through every danger – the fate of mankind has overwhelmed him.

For six days I would not let him be buried, thinking, “If my grief is violent enough,

perhaps he will come back to life again.” For six days and seven nights I mourned him,

until a maggot fell out of his nose. Then I was frightened, I was terrified by death,

and I set out to roam the wilderness. I cannot bear what happened to my friend –

I cannot bear what happened to Enkidu – so I roam the wilderness in my grief.

It’s a beautiful piece written with so much emotion and anguish. And it got me thinking. Where has friendship gone these days?

I remember in my younger days, selflessness between friends was as common as salt. I still have close friends who can I share and emote to back in my ancestral country.

But it is not the same with the new set of people that you meet. In the last country I worked. I got taught an important lesson in being selfish and opportunistic. I did not like it one bit. So, I ended up not liking the people, the culture or anything that was going on. When I moved to this country. I thought I would see a difference. Believe me, it is a bit different, but people it's still the same as pronouncing tomato.

We were having a discussion and one of my senior colleagues gave me an interesting stat. He said 30 percent of Australians were lonely (meaning they are completely alone). I am not surprised. And that’s not a good thing, especially during the holidays.

But for many, it's their personality and behaviour towards others that may have made them lonely.

In my youth, I never had a day during festivities where I was alone. My relationships revolved around friends who were always there. They were few, but they were always there. And I for them. We don't talk as much as we do before. But we still value each other and try to be there.

That doesn't seem to be the case here. I remember once offering to help an older gentleman and he scoffed and refused it. The funny thing was, the next hour I could see him crying to his caretaker over the fact that he was lonely. 

At first, I was confused, was it a race thing? Then I realised after seeing the same pattern in many people that I engaged with. It’s not a race thing. It's because you are snobs. And the only buddies you have are the ones you can drink with (if you pay for yourself) or are in a relationship with (who has muscles up his ear).

That’s not friendship. That’s a selfish opportunity. So you don’t deserve a friend. Friendship is dead. You are lonely because you are what you are.

Banner 1
| Your rating
1 members rated this article


Related stories

My bees are busy creating beautiful honey.

Life lessons from the farm

It was at my rural retreat, far from the madding crowd, that I had an epiphany of sorts!

Community Philosophy Relationships
Expand
12 days ago
(Love & Relationships)
Marriage isn't always a fairytale (Image: Shutterstock).

The midlife marriage fairytale

Do we expect too much from our partners after decades of marriage?

Relationships Marriage Love
Expand
17 days ago
(Love & Relationships)
A Christmas indulgence!.

7 tips for transforming your next Christmas

So, just how stressed did you get this Christmas? Have you resolved to do it differently next time? If so, read on.

Planning Holidays Christmas
Expand
25 days ago
(Love & Relationships)
What is the choice you will make? .

Are you motivated by love or fear?

As individuals, we may have exhibited patterns of behaviour that reflect an underlying feeling of love or fear.

Science Mental Health Psychology Social Issues
Expand
About 1 month ago
(Love & Relationships)
The mistress is in control.

The mistress is in total control

In part five of this series on alternative ''power exchange'' relationships, we learn more about Patricia (a true...

Sex Relationships
Expand
About 1 month ago
(Love & Relationships)
FINDING MY VOICE AT LAST.

Finding my own voice, at last

After a lifetime of fitting into other people's expectations, it's finally my time to speak up and have my own voice - and...

Relationships Community Ageing
Expand
About 1 month ago
(Love & Relationships)
French bulldogs are flat-faced and unable to properly breathe.

How we are loving some dogs to death

 

If you truly love dogs, you must watch this video. Then share it with your friends.

Health Kindness Pets
Expand
About 1 month ago
(Love & Relationships)
It pays to recognise what you can and can't control.

Secure happiness by giving up control

In my quest for happiness, here's what I've learnt about control.

Community Relationships Kindness
Expand
About 1 month ago
(Love & Relationships)
Lady Patricia is quick to punish her property, Bill.

A stinging cane on the male behind

In part four of a series on alternative ''power exchange'' relationships, we turn our focus to Patricia and Bill.

Sex Relationships
Expand
About 2 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Putting a Smile Back on my Face.

Are you up for the no-complaining challenge?

I gave myself a challenge - 30 days without complaining. I was pleasantly surprised by the results.

Kindness Social Issues Business Relationships
Expand
About 2 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Wljqtpatlxigmfeexanj
Trending stories
The moment an unidentified man is knocked out cold from behind, right outside our office on William St.

WA Govt, City of Perth ignore inner-city piggery

A coward-punch attack and a...

(Ys Comment) 2 days ago
Top Indonesian chef Chandra Yudasswara will be cooking up a secret storm for Taste Great Southern.

Celebrity chef set for a Secret Affair in Great Southern

Take one of Indonesia's top...

(Epicure) 2 days ago
If you look after your digestive health, life will be much sweeter for you and yours.

A happy gut equals a happy life

Nobody wants gut-health...

(Epicure) 6 days ago
Spend time with your friends!.

10 powerful tips for self-investment

When we prioritise...

(Health & Beauty) 6 days ago
Weekly Poll
Haiku of the week
Qcnq3xgd6xtqpb5yioih
Memory lane
Diaxvffncbtxbtuyzd1v