YspeopleExplore tab

Finding my own voice, at last


2da98ba11f04931e9bc46f81aa82ab77

About Leanne | crestingthehill

Hi I'm Leanne, medical receptionist by day and blogger by night. I blog at - where I write about how much I’m enjoying Midlife and the empty nest. To quote Maya Angelou: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”


After a lifetime of fitting into other people's expectations, it's finally my time to speak up and have my own voice - and blogging has been a godsend in finding that voice again.

FINDING MY VOICE

FINDING MY VOICE AT LAST.

FINDING MY VOICE AT LAST

I've been asked many times about why I put my thoughts and my life on display in for other people to read, and I gave my answer to that .

But there is another reason for writing my blog, one I've only just come to recognise and acknowledge. My blog has given me my voice.

People who know me would say that I already had a voice that was loud and clear (sometimes too loud and clear!) and in some ways, they would be right about that.

I am quite vocal and I do enjoy a good discussion/argument/interaction. But at the same time, my voice has been muted by others for most of my life.

CHILDHOOD

When I was a child and a teenager, I lived in a home that revolved around my father and his wants and needs. What we thought or felt was of no real interest and we certainly never got a say in how life played out.

My brother tried rebelling and being a bit of a hellion through his teen years, but I wasn't that type of person. I was the oldest child and I minded my manners and never really found my true voice.

I remember my parents deciding to move house in the middle of my senior year in high school because it suited them. I had no say, except to breathe a sigh of relief when our house didn't sell.

I remember wanting to go to university and being told "girls don't need too much education". I remember leaving home as soon as I was old enough because I wanted to be seen and heard in my own right.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

A few years later, I married into a lovely family who had very strong Christian values. I desperately wanted to be approved of by my new in-laws, moulding my personality and my voice to fit into how a good Christian wife and mother should speak and behave.

I failed many times because it's hard to fit a square peg into a round hole - you keep banging it in, but there are often splinters and cracks.

I wanted to be that lovely, genteel, kind and compassionate woman of biblical proportions, trying to keep my voice down and toe the line.

I did quite well for most of it, but there was someone inside me who just wanted to be recognised for her true self, to be accepted for who she actually was.

MIDLIFE

Roll on into midlife and my voice has finally gotten stronger.

Upheavals happened and the voice spoke up even louder. Now I listen to that voice and I'm honest about who I am - the person I've earned the right to become.

My blog lets me speak and take ownership of my right to have a voice and to be who still has significance.

Nowadays, I sometimes feel the pressure from my adult kids to pull my head in and toe the line. To be the "nice" middle-aged woman/mother who steps back and doesn't demand anything.

Sometimes I think "maybe I should be that person because it would be easier", but I don't really want to lose myself again. I want to stretch out and not be squashed.

I don't want to be told that I shouldn't say something, or write something, or be something. Surely this is my time to step forward and not have to apologise for who I am any more. 

SIGNIFICANCE

So many younger people appear to have picked up their significance and self-worth by osmosis. I didn't seem to absorb mine anywhere in my younger days, but now it's seeping in and wanting to speak up and speak out.

I really like having a voice, I like saying stuff that , I like having my blog and my space. I don't think that's too much to ask for after 50-plus years of minding my Ps and Qs. 

I've come to see that for me it's not necessarily about being "Loud and Proud", it's about being "Real and Glorious" -- and who wouldn't want to be real and glorious?!

Banner 1
| Your rating
No ratings yet


Related stories

Women cheat on men who don't do house chores: study

Women are more likely to cheat on men who fail to pull their weight when it comes to household chores, according to a major...

Work Relationships
Originally from telegraph.co.uk
Expand
14 days ago
(Love & Relationships)
Marriage is a con, serving no purpose at all.

Marriage is a symptom of ugliness

Relationships and love have astonishing value. But marriage? Pffffft, what a con!

Social Issues Community Relationships
Expand
4 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
By following a few commonsense rules, online dating isn't so scary after all.

How to stay safe while dating online

 

Have you found yourself single again in midlife? Thinking about online dating? Read this first.

Health Relationships Technology
Expand
4 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Saying thankyou will brighten two people's day.

The power of saying thankyou

There is incredible power in saying thankyou and expecting nothing in return.

Community Health Relationships
Expand
4 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Grandkids say the funniest things.

The things your grandchildren say

Children say the darndest things, don't they? Share your funny anecdotes.

Community Humour Relationships
Expand
4 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Children need to know it's OK to bite, kick and scream if grabbed by a stranger.

Nine life-saving lessons to teach your grandkids

Here's how to equip your grandchildren with the tools to keep them safe from predators.

Community Social Issues Relationships Family
Expand
5 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
We were like chalk and cheese.

An overdue apology to my long-dead brother

The pain following your death on that remote country road runs deep. Here's why I want to sorry.

Relationships Loss Family
Expand
5 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
A class divided passport of the 80s.

My passport is a snapshot of an uglier time

 

You only have to look at my passport from the 1980s -- which lists me as black and bans me from travelling to South Africa --...

India Australia Politics Social Issues
Expand
5 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Empty nesters, how did you celebrate winning your freedom back? Picture: Shutterstock.

Empty nesters, let's hear your stories

Alright all of you empty nesters, how did you celebrate your new-found freedom? Let's get a conversation started.

Community Property Relationships
Expand
5 months ago
(Love & Relationships)
Baby Joyce.

Marriage meltdown not Barnaby’s only failure

Our Deputy PM's moral protestations about our interest in his love life go directly to the character of the man.

Social Issues Relationships Australia Politics
Expand
5 months ago
(Love & Relationships)

Message board

Derek, 14 days ago:
I am great
George, 14 days ago:
What's up Thomas?
George, 14 days ago:
Messages are now updated in real time on other browsers.
Thomas, 14 days ago:
Hello
Thomas, about 1 month ago:
Great!
DJC, about 1 month ago:
Groovy!
George, about 2 months ago:
Message board active from June 2018

Have your say!

Your Great Australians

Trending stories
When it comes to great bloggers you can connect with, this list has you covered.

20 mature bloggers worth following

Looking for Australian...

(Entertainment & Culture) Over 1 year ago
Drizzle some maple syrup and your pancakes with bacon are good to go.

Mapled pancakes with organic bacon

C'Mon! You know you want to...

(Epicure) About 1 year ago
Many people let desire for something, such as a god, colour their assessment of the evidence.

Try wishing upon a proven star

''Never let a wish become...

(Headlines) Over 1 year ago
She truly does love, honour and obey Jim.

Jim really does spank his wife often

Part two in the story of...

(Love & Relationships) 8 months ago
Suzuki's cute little Ignis SUV has a lot going for it.

Review: 2017 Suzuki Ignis GL and GLX

Japanese car maker Suzuki,...

(Pastimes) 12 months ago
Weekly Poll
Photographic memories
Hizgg0vzzqvwc9xicknk
It's 35 years since the Ash Wednesday bushfires in South Australia and Victoria claimed 75 lives and more than 2500 buildings.