1. “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
Ripper dad jokes get a laugh
2. “A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’”
3. “5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
4. “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
5. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
6. "Last night I dreamt I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted!''
7. "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt."
8. "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs wiggling in a pile of leaves? Russel."
9. 'Waitress: careful, that plate is hot!' Dad: 'It's ok, so am I.'
10. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.